Like most teens, I had struggled with acne for years. I had always been fairly self-conscious of it, but at 14 it became quite severe. None of my friends had acne quite as bad – maybe a few spots here and there – so it felt as though theirs didn’t even compare to mine. It was an isolating experience; I felt like there was something wrong with me. After years of different treatments, I was finally put on Roaccutane. This is an intense treatment and can have severe psychological and physical side effects. But, it cleared my skin. My acne never came back in the same way.

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I’d been on the pill for a good six years before swapping it for the coil. Like many young women, my contraception journey began soon after my periods started as a way of calming the hormonal hike. By 20, it was a relief to finally cancel my phone’s daily ‘take pill’ reminder.

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As a young woman, it was reassuring to hear others say they had it too. But as those others grew out of it, I didn’t. My curvature got worse. Instead of my curvature straightening, it seemed as though my body grew around it. My shoulder became more lopsided, one rib cage stuck out more than the other, and my hips were always sore. My one saving grace was my ballet teacher. With her constant reminders to hold my body upright and pull my shoulders back – ‘stand straight!’, ‘Megan, shoulder down’ – I learnt how to conceal those parts. Even the pain eased as ballet made me more mobile. But the one thing I could never hide or contort was my chest.

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Objectification vs Empowerment
I used a slightly more provocative photo of myself than I’d usually consider as it seemed fitting to my blog post. Yet this resulted in far more attention than any of my other postshave received, mainly from men. A series of conflicting questions and statements entered my mind: have I used my body for views? Maybe I should be? I like the photo, it makes me feel good, so why not? But am I submitting to the notion that women’s bodies are objects of consumption? Am I, in a way, selling my body in return for views? 

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